The Hollowness of Life

Have you ever felt or realized that something always bothers you inside, making you ponder deeply over some deprivations of life? Despite having every comfort, you remain downhearted at times not knowing exactly the reasons for this feeling! Sometimes you can figure it out but not able to redress the issue because of peculiarity of your circumstances, surroundings, and age factor.

I find myself living with almost all life-goals fulfilled. But in spite of having lived a near perfect life what is it that is left undone and unconquered which creates a permanent void in my life, a deep hollow, an abyss which is yet to be fathomed or discovered! Why a feeling of emptiness persists? Why this hollowness has been living along throughout my life? From adolescence to young to middle age and to finally nearing old age the hollowness never leaves us alone, with ever-changing known and often unknown reasons.

Has it something to do with our unending wants and desires? I presume everyone is going through this dilemma. Everyone whatever his/her age, wherever living, whatever doing, rich or poor, is somehow uneasy and disconcerted over something which keeps all staring into space restlessly.

Are we sucked in by the unlimited worldly targets & goals that remain far from being attained which finds us camped at the base of high mountains with the uncertainty of reaching the peak ever? This feeling perturbs and leaves us gazing into horizon trying to come to terms to mysteries of life. Some of the common reasons of our hollowness could be attributed to the following reasons:

• Young People: Fearful of uncertain future, disintegration of families, unpredictable & unknown potential life partners, and delayed marriages etc. 
• Immigrants in the West: Missing their ailing parents, regretting not being there.
• Expatriates in the Middle East: Missing their wives, children, parents and social life. Some lowly educated workers wish to see their loans paid back so that their mortgaged houses/animals/agriculture lands back home could be cleared. Another disheartening aspect with the expatriates is that their families, relatives do not want them to return because of high remittances they send to them (easy money for extravagance).
• High ranked officers/bureaucrats/politicians: Lust for more powers, authority, money, estate etc.
• Ordinary workers/businessmen: Children’s educational expenses, social costs, loans, daughters’ marriage expenses, owning a small house etc.
• A poor majority: Yearns for fulfilling basic needs all along its life 

Someone can argue that this depression is due to spirituality of life that we miss upon. We do not turn to Almighty Allah (swt) as often as we should with surrendering our body and soul to Him. And that we have forgotten altogether that we will finally return to our Creator someday for which we need to get prepared. I presume many of my age group people haven’t forgotten this aspect and seek repentance regularly and many times a day but still feel devoid of something unknown. And has this gloominess something to do with conscience? A guilty conscience with which we would not be able to face the accountability on the Judgment Day! There are endless questions aimed at searching the answer(s) so that we can be at rest, contented and peace.

One of the reasons for our dissatisfaction could also be owing to the fact that our lives are too self-centered. Our world is confined to our family, friends and colleagues. Cell-phones, computers and televisions have taken over as our friends now. We know less people in our street by name than TV anchors, drama artists, singers and newscasters. I for one have not befriended any new person in real life in a decade but added 100s on Internet social sites. Our traditional evening gossips in the neighbourhoods are extinct now. In the past we also used to interact regularly after/on Juma Prayers in the mosques to exchange pleasantries but ever since Friday has been declared a weekday, this practice is no more in use. The deafening Calls for Ba-jama’at (joint) Namaz from nearby mosques just remind us to offer the prayers in solitude without walking to the mosque. Many of us are not blessed with even listening to such Calls. The fast pace of life that sets high standards of living leaves no room for humane aspect, no time for asking well being of the people living around us. The kindness, humility, and a greeting smile are reserved for family & friends fraternity.

Another reason for persistent despair that hits the sensitive mind is the vast class difference of haves and have-nots in the society, the acceptance of corrupt people at the helm of affairs of the nation, disintegration of population into sects and other ills prevalent all over the place.

Yet another possible reason that resides at the back of our mind but haunts regularly is the scare of imminent death. We, at 50 plus years, have completed about 75% of our average age and going through the process of recollecting our life events; good and bad decisions, and trying to imagine the world without us. Have our children attained the goals that we foresaw for them, where we would be buried, whether our children and grand children would ever visit our eternal abodes and remember us in their prayers to help us minimize the (God forbid) punishment in hereafter are some of the questions we ask ourselves repeatedly!

The hollowness will stay side by side with us.