What’s in the Name?

My late parents once revealed to me that I was born on wee hours of Eid-ul-Adha. The elders of the family unanimously decided to name me after this blissful Eid day. So, I was named as; “Eidan”. My Dad, an educated person to school level, and a lower cadre employee in a government department did not agree with the elders’ advice, and said: I plan to take my children to a town for education and to a city later for higher studies too, therefore, this ‘village name’ would not suit my boy, and he would not like it when gets educated.

Hence, I survived, not being called after Eid as Eidan.

We all know that purpose of name is to identify one from another. Therefore, everyone has name and all love their name regardless of the fact that it’s given to them by parents. This practice has been going on from the creation of very first man i.e. Aadam (AS) and he was given this name by Allah (SWT).

The human names in the primitive times were borrowed from objects of the nature. Interestingly they are still in vogue around the world. As the societies grew culturally and advanced in education and literature, new and modern names came into existence and they largely replaced old names putting them into extinction, especially in urban areas. 

Culturally and traditionally names in the villages and small towns are very simple and reflect some historical or memorable events, and new born babies are often named after some non-human things. Traditional names in Sindh province of Pakistan are usually taken from week days, Islamic months, trees, flowers, fruits & vegetables, jungles, mountains, and other objects. 

Some names are listed hereunder:

Sindhi Names	Meaning
Aachar	Sunday
Soomar	Monday
Jummo	Friday
Muharram	1st Islamic Month
Safar	2nd Islamic Month
Rajab	7th Islamic Month
Sha’ban	8th Islamic Month
Ramzan	9th Islamic Month
Mevo	Fruit
Amb	Mango
Zaitoon	Guava
Sono	Gold
Kandero	Thorny Tree
Mithoo	Parrot
Mor	Peacock
Jabal	Hill
Pahelwan	Wrestler

Similar traditional names also prevail in rural areas of Punjab, and rest of the provinces. I have poor knowledge about them. Some of the Punjabi names collected through my Punjabi twitter friends are given as under:

Punjabi Names	Meaning
Charagh	Lamp (like Alladin’s)
Channan	Moon
Gulabo	Rose
Boota	Tree Plant
Sohni	Beautiful
Laddoo	Golf ball sized traditional sweet
Billo	Damsel with Cat-like eyes
Makhan	Butter
Jannat	Heaven
Sherdil	Lion hearted

One peculiar habit / trend that prevails since long in Punjab is about parents, elders and friends giving nicknames or shortened / distorted original names to their kids out of sheer love so that these look cuter and easy to pronounce. When children grow up these nicknames look funnier and create embarrassing for them. Here are a few of such distorted names:

Punjabi Nicknames	Real Names
Peeno	Parveen
Peja	Parvaiz
Sheeda	Rasheed
Pheeka	Rafiq
Jajee	Aijaz
Jaka	Razzaq
Phujja	Zafar / Fayyaz
Bali / Balla	Iqbal
Sooda	Maqsood

Nevertheless, people living in cities, big towns and other urban areas across the country, with educated background, prefer to adopt modern names for their children that are used in novels, literature, TV Dramas, and borrowed from Arabic, Persian, Hindi and even English Languages.

There are scores of common names used in Muslim, Christian and Jewish world, though with a small twist of accent and spelling but having similar meaning. These religious male and female names are taken from the names of prophets that descended from Prophet Ibrahim (AS) or before. For example:

Muslim Names	Christian/Jewish Names
Ibrahim	Abraham
Ishaq	Isaac
Ismail	Ishmael
Yaqoob	Jacob
Aadam	Adam
Moosa	Moses
Yousuf	Joseph
Nooh	Noah
Dawood	David
Ilyas	Elijah
Suleman	Solomon
Sarah (Sara)	Sarah (Sara)
Maria	Maria
Hava	Eve
Maryam	Mary
Jibrael (Gibril)	Gabriel
Zakaria	Zach
Haris	Harris
Daniyal	Daniel
Haroon	Aaron
Elishba	Elisheba

Interestingly like our traditional names, English names i.e. Christian and Jewish, also refer to their relation with objects, earth, trees and plants, professions, etc. A few of them are:

Bush, Tree, Goldsmith, Potter, Blacksmith, Silver, Fish, Ocean, Olive, Apple, White, Black, Cave, Hill, Snow, Love, Onion, Fox, Wolf, Star, Stone, Pearl, North, West, etc.

While writing this blog and getting help from Google and Wikipedia on  ‘Names’ I got to a realization that it can lead me to making a full-fledged document on the subject because there are plenty of unavoidable relationships in finding a name. For example, bordering countries carry similar names due to frequent interaction and travelling of people between the two nations. Moreover, since US and Europe have been subjected to massive immigration after WW-I and WW-II respectively, therefore, these countries have names from all regions of the world.

The preferences for religious names over primitive names in the Muslim World are getting momentum in big cities, and especially within immigrant Muslims in Europe and North America. “Muhammad” is by far the widely preferred first or second name for boys and “Fatima” for girls. The name ‘Muhammad’ is considered as the most famous name in the world.

 

The combination of old village names, nicknames and modern names are likely to prevail across the globe. Regardless of improved literacy rate, modernization, globalization, and religious influences in our country, old names and nicknames like; Sher (lion) Khan, Mithoo, Bakhto (lucky), Pheeka and Sheeda, and Eidan would continue to appear in our society/culture, perhaps for ages to come. 

Pakistan or Islam First?

When I started going to school at the age of 5 years in 1965 the thing I liked the most about it was the morning assembly of all pupils standing in rows, class wise, witnessing in silence recitation of a few verses from Holy Quran and then singing together, all in chorus, either the national anthem or a new song arousing our sentiments and recognizing the valor & sacrifices of Pakistan Army in war against India. The song’s first line was: Khitta e Lahore Tere Jan-Nisaaron ko Salam. Six years later, during yet another war in 1971 an engineer from Larkana gets martyred on an Indus Bridge in Sukkur during an air strike of the enemy. The next day whole city converges to attend his funeral. By that time; we were all Pakistani, all Muslim or vice versa. Those were the best times when no one asked about your sect or ethnicity and never bothered to discuss and argue what the patriotism was all about. And it was out of question to ever think of whether we were Muslim first or Pakistani.

Revisiting history of Pakistan we learn that though slogan for a separate Muslim State was raised during liberation movement from British Raj, it is yet to be agreed by all and sundry that voice for a separate Islamic State was equally strong enough. In response to a reference, Quaid-i-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah is quoted to have said: “We shall not be an Islamic State, but a liberal, democratic Muslim State.” And he went on saying that it would be an extremely difficult task to handle various sects under an Islamic State.

But things started to change, leading to a destination of mistrusts and doubts. On the behest of external powers coupled with internal incompetence, greed and lust for power, those army generals, political and religious leaders who made an impact on the lives of millions became the source of persistent distraction to people’s thinking which compelled them to discuss & dispute their own identity. People ask themselves with a non-question as to whether they prefer Pakistan or Islam, as if both can’t go together at all.

The disintegration of this nation, both spiritually and literally, starts with the breakup of Pakistan into two, and goes on further in successive eras of army rule in the country. The democratic governments and so-called religious seminaries were also not behind in nurturing the disharmony and added salt to the injuries.

General Zia ul Haq, toppled the weak democratic government of Mr. Bhutto, imposed martial law with false promises of bringing back the real democracy and rule of Islamic law in the country in 90 days. His rule extends beyond 90 months exploiting Islam to every extent; from cosmopolitan steps like banning girls on TV who refused to cover their heads with Dupatta (Scarf) to lashing the criminals publicly. It was a ripe time to fan cacophony; discord over proposed Kalabagh Dam Project (it continues to haunt this nation), dispute between Punjab and Sindh over sharing of river waters for agriculture, and creation & supporting regional political parties on linguistic terms. General Musharraf was not behind; he resorted to exploiting patriotism. During his rule in 1999-2008 he raised the slogan: Sab Se Pehle Pakistan or Pakistan First. In the disguise of patriotism and modernism, he promoted western culture. He continued with the policy of divide and rule, suppressing mainstream political parties while encouraging regional parties.

And the ill-fated, unforgettable and dreadful 9/11 attack takes place in New York which is going to fetch endless troubles for Pakistan. Osam Bin Laden, once a CIA darling, a Mujahedeen leader, is declared responsible for this attack. Osama suddenly turns top villain and the proclaimed terrorist. Mujahedeen, who fought against Russian invasion of Afghanistan with the backing of the US, are renamed as Taliban (Terrorists). The war against terror strikes; Pakistan is pushed into this war because of the US’s policy of “carrot & stick”. As a result, dollars rain in Pakistan. But they rain on the ‘chosen ones’ who are supporting allied forces and helping CIA to capture proclaimed terrorists carrying huge head-money on them. The general public is to receive dead and mutilated bodies of their family members killed in mosques, Imam-bargahs, bazaars and public places through bomb blasts and suicide bombers.

Little less than 70 years on, our society is in shambles of sectarianism and ethnicity. Quetta and rest of Balochistan have witnessed merciless targeted killings of non-Baloch, especially Punjabi educationists, doctors, and even poor labor because they chose to stay there instead of leaving the province. The real fallout is on Shia (especially Hazara community) sect. Na-Maloom (unknown) killers are ruling literally in the streets of Karachi, Quetta and elsewhere. ‘Missing Persons’ is another gruesome chapter, especially in the troubled Balochistan. Much of interior Karachi city is alien to natives but kind to Burmese, Bengali and Indian Muslim illegal immigrants. Hyderabad is divided into two glaring parts; Thandi Sarak (road) plays the green line dividing Muhajirs from Sindhis.

I can’t visualize how chilling it runs through the spine of a soldier moments before a suicide bomber chants Allah-o-Akbar and blows him and soldiers instantly! The delay of a microsecond on hearing Allah-o-Akbar prevents the soldier to shoot a “Kalma-go” but the bomber is not conditioned or brainwashed to such a mercy. For the bomber, salvation lies in killing everyone who is not one of them. The ruthless bomber kills the innocent citizens chanting Allah-o-Akbar and purportedly seals the ownership of 70 virgins as reward in the heavens, while the real patriot soldier defending the country from internal terrorists is propagated as adversary of Islam. These atrocious animals who slaughter and behead innocent people and like to play football with the heads consider themselves as serving Islam. For them, patriotism is a useless term.

Every year we witness a new “Pagri” (turban) heralding advent of another sect. Every year a new ethnic group voices for independence or cessation with this beleaguered country. A new debate has begun that nationalism is all about giving up your identities, castes, dialects or local languages.

So, where do we stand; Pakistani first or Muslim first? The fact is; this question is irrelevant altogether.

Our love and devotion with Pakistan is undiminished. Our life portrays our nationalism. Defending our frontiers from inner and outer enemies is in-built in our blood and programmed in our genes. One needs not demonstrate the loyalty while they are breathing nor do they have to obtain a certificate to prove their allegiance with this land. Allah (SWT) has bestowed us with our own country where its’ cities, town and villages reverberate with the calls of Azan (Adhan) five times a day. A country where Jummah (Friday) Prayers and massive Eid Prayers’ congregations are held and celebrated with much religious zeal and fervor must be protected from all internal and external evil forces.

At the same time I do realize that my existence into this world was celebrated with Azan (Adhan) in right ear and Takbeer (Iqamah) in left ear. When I die I also wish to be buried in an Islamic manner. At the day of resurrection I would undergo flurry of questions about my faith in Allah (SWT), belief in Quran, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) as last messenger of Allah, life spent in accordance with the teachings of Quran and Sunnah and that I promoted love and peace in the country.

Role Model

It was an unusual morning; Baba (my father) was getting ready in a hurry and asking Ammi (my mother) to wrap up some additional suits for his journey. She looked sad, terrified and kept wiping tears from her eyes. Father looked pale too, and with a fake smile, said goodbye to us and boarded a Tonga (horse carriage) for the bus stop where he would catch a bus for Sukkur. He was to appear in a court of law for the final hearing where verdict was to be issued regarding his alleged embezzlement with government funds. While leaving he said if I fail to turn up by evening, it would mean the decision went against me and I am sent to jail.

Much to our delight and expectations, father returned home late evening; garlanded and running a huge grin under his sprawling mustache. This time he was vindicated, as against the previous occasion, when he had spent a few months in Nara Jail, Sukkur. It was in 1966. By then I was six years old kid. For the next ten years my father’s job remained on the anvil due to not an impeccable record. Eventually, he was forcibly retired. At that tender age I had in mind the only thing; father’s work was not good enough.

During the same period, we, the kids of our street, began offering prayers in the nearby mosque. It was more a fun than fulfilling the religious obligation because we were yet to learn offering Salaah, the Prayers, correctly. It was hardly second or third day at the mosque when my slippers were stolen and I returned home crying hapless and helplessly. This incidence kept me away from the mosques for many years. Nevertheless, I kept offering Friday prayers where our (kids) sole intention was to push each other in the Salaah assembly and utter “Ameen” as loud as we could during a joint dua. Respectable from every angle, Imam of the mosque looked to me a person more dependent on rich neighbors than our Creator.

I also started listening to music at a very early age. Both Pakistani and Indian songs airing on radio was a great enjoyment for me. And with songs, I developed a habit of liking movies; the habit that was going to last forever. The action movies were my favorite, and those film heroes depicted as dacoits were role models for me. I used to make a wish in the childhood that some dacoit-gang may kidnap me and train me so that I become a dacoit, go on a killing spree of all cruel landlords, usurpers, industrialists, and those who looted & exploited poor. The captured fortunes would then be distributed among poor people.

In mid 1970s we bought a new tractor on bank installments. On a very next day my elder brother still in teens took it on main road driving recklessly and hit a horse-driven cart (Tonga). Our driver took the responsibility and pretended before the police that he had hit the Tonga accidently. While the driver was in police custody father took me along with him to the police station to get the driver freed. I still remember the police behavior with my father. They were rude, scolding, abusive, insulting and shameful. It was too difficult to withstand such a treatment. After begging, paying bribe and compensation, the driver was finally released. That incident was just more than enough for me to stay away from opting police as a career.

My father always wanted me to choose an engineering career, civil engineering in fact, to become either irrigation engineer or roads engineer so that I could (mis)use power, authority and illicit means to become instantly rich. I did become a civil engineer, got a job in a public organization but failed to fulfill my father’s dream. I proved a failure in the world’s eyes because I was a coward; listened to my conscience and ended up working in offices for desk-job assignments which are commonly known as “khudday-line positions” i.e. non-earning positions. Though still resisting, sometimes I feel weak enough and get tempted to follow the same course everyone is following; earning through dishonest means and enjoy comfortable life.

In last 30 years, I have worked with scores of good, bad and ugly officers. Among bad and ugly they can be termed as weird, greedy and obnoxious. At the same time I had an opportunity of working with an expert who was and remains my role model in terms of technical knowledge, competence, efficiency and above all, honesty. Late Mr. Nisar Ali Akhtar, a retired Vice President/Engineer from NESPAK was an advisor on a project where I used to work with him for almost 5 years during early 2000 years.  He was a gem of a person, with a treasure of technical knowledge and experience. An arrogant and snob for many but he was a kind hearted, knowledge sharing, helping colleague and a source of guidance for me. His company is responsible in making me stronger and tough against transgression. May Allah (SWT) have mercy on him and have him his eternal abode in Jannah. A’meen. He appears in my prayers regularly.

After completing MBA in the middle age I got the opportunity to teach part time at University level. It was real fun and satisfying. Just wonder if I could have made it to a better teacher had I chosen this career! But then teaching was neither considered as an ideal profession for engineers nor did it earn a handsome living in early 1980s.

Finally, I must reiterate that a role model for a Muslim can only be Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and his companions, for any action, at each step and in every walk of life. Let’s pray for revival of our character and purity of our thoughts to be able to follow their footsteps. 

A Morning Walk

The title is pretty familiar. This is something that takes us down the memory lane to the era of our elementary schooling days when essays were hard to write and tougher to memorize. Usually the essay would start like; my father wakes me up early for the Salah (Morning Prayers) and then he takes me to a nearby garden for a walk. The garden is full of flowers, fragrance, birds chirping, etc. etc. and the essay would emphasize that morning walk is extremely necessary for good health.

When I used to memorize this essay there wasn’t any garden in my neighborhood but those good and peaceful times wouldn’t resist us from visiting the parks and garden located at a fair distance during evening times. As I grew I started developing a habit of waking up early for Salah as well as going for a morning walk in a nearby garden. It’s more than thirty years now that I am carrying on this routine without change except for extremely cold and foggy winter mornings.

Being in Lahore is a great blessing because wherever and whichever part you live in the city it is always in the vicinity of parks and gardens. Most of the jogging tracks are built along the circumference of the parks and large gardens, usually in circular position. They range from a few hundred meters to 2-3 kilometers. This provides ample opportunity to build a habit of visiting them for jogging or brisk walking. Both morning and evening times bring you a scenic view of jogging tracks full of people; children, young boys & girls, middle aged as well as elders too. Many people prefer to walk in the evenings because of their early busy schedules or habitual of waking up late but I find the mornings more suitable due to tranquility, cool breeze, less crowd and little noise & pollution.

According to the convenience, preferences or whatever reason, the joggers and brisk walkers move in both directions on the jogging tracks i.e. clockwise and anti-clockwise. Interestingly the number of joggers in anti-clockwise direction is always more than the people in clockwise direction which continues to be a mystery, at least for me. Just wonder whether all the joggers and walkers have any connection with the facts that six (of eight) planets revolve around sun in anti-clockwise direction, earth rotates on its axis in anti-clockwise direction, blood circulates anti-clockwise in human body and millions of people in Makkah rotate anti-clockwise to perform Tawwaf during Umrah/Hajj!  

Coming back to brisk walking; from my youth till early middle age I used to walk in a direction where I could face maximum pretty faces of young girls. Hence, I would walk clockwise i.e. against the massive wave of joggers/walkers. As the spark started fading, so did I changed my position and started walking along with them.

Our current rented house is in the vicinity of a small ladies park which is used by all men and women for morning walk. Its’ circumference hardly measures 250-300 meters with a width of 1.5 meter. Hence making circles repeatedly on this track is like moving under centrifugal force or riding a bike in “the Well of Death”. However, by doing so, I came across a strange habit of mine; I can’t see people overtake me on a jogging track. And the worst of all, can’t withstand people walking swifter than me even in the opposite direction. Let me explain this crazy phenomenon: If I hear some noise of jogging shoes getting closer to me from behind I would start walking swifter, not to let the other walker overtake me. Similarly when I find someone walking faster than me in the opposite direction I mark the location visually where we made a crossing. In a complete round, there are two such marking points. And I make every effort in the next round to beat the opponent reaching these marks. While playing this game at the age of 50 plus I end up making my ankles and feet aching from fatigue and sleep restlessly the following afternoon and night. I wake up the next morning with the same vigor again.

My life-long rendezvous with the walking tracks has borne fruits. Alhamdulillah, I’m free of ageing maladies like insomnia, blood pressure, diabetes, cholesterol, etc., which usually prowl in this age bracket. Allah (SWT) has been very kind and merciful to keep me healthy. Perhaps I was destined to choose either of them, not both of them; wealth and health. When my greed tried to grab the wealth, an invisible force pushed me to capture wealth of health. So here it is.

Beyond Retirement!

According to the definition at Wikipedia, “retirement” is the point where a person stops employment completely. A person may also semi-retire by reducing work hours.

Although our age-group is in mid fifties; still away from the retirement age (varies in different countries) yet the retirement blues has already begun haunting us to explore things we will be doing or ought to be doing to keep ourselves busy, productive and living beyond this ill-fated cutoff date. The retirement affects the life of all generally but its impact is severe on those who work in public sector particularly.

You were conditioned for more than 30 years to wake up early, have a cup of tea while scrolling eyes on the newspaper, and getting ready for office. Now, imagine the very first weekday of post retirement; no chauffer driven official car is awaiting you outside, no telephone calls to reach immediately for a meeting, in fact no one waits at office for you. You are free. You are redundant. You are surplus. An indispensable and industrious person just a day earlier has suddenly been rendered nonfunctional, if not dysfunctional. The cruel world took no time to adjust working without you; declare you a senior citizen.

This happens to be your longest day of life when there’s nothing to be done, and there’s nothing you want to do either. This very first and longest day of post retirement life makes you aged by some more years instantly. The shock is nonabsorbent. Soon you would meet another upsetting revelation that your spouse does not like you to meddle in the household discipline that she has been maintaining for decades. She would rather advise you to spend daytime equivalent to office hours of 9 to 5 doing something, anything, which keeps you outside of her kingdom. 

It is generally believed that people cannot live long and healthy life once they are retired. Perhaps, the abrupt shock of becoming worthless in an overnight is killing. This disappointing impact gets minimized if one is enjoying a large family under the same roof. Presence of spouse, grownup children and grand children can be a great solace to offset the retirement blues.

So, how and what do we foresee doing after retiring from active office life? Here are some of the options you may like to get engaged into:

• Reemployment; this is the best one if you feel physically strong, mentally active and fit. Your employer may not necessarily agree with your opinion in the entirety, though.
• Enjoying old age benefits.
• Turning entrepreneur investing your savings in some business like real estate construction, doing small businesses, part time teaching etc.
• Besides reading habits, you may like to begin writing and contributing to print and electronic media, etc.
• Engage yourself in household works; gardening, helping spouse in the kitchen and performing school pick & drop duty for grand children.
• Enjoy travelling around the world out of your retirement savings.
• Investing all of your money, if still safe from your grownup children and grand children, into saving banks for a fixed monthly return on it to meet your medical bills and other needs.
• Making your life-long dream come true; putting all money into buying/building your own house and then enjoying the peaceful life. Nevertheless, be financially dependent on your children, forever.
• Getting fully involved into religious activities, and doing some social work, and
• Living a depressive, melancholic and solitary (or with spouse) life where your only worthwhile asset is sweet memories.

While reminiscing the past we may find ourselves contented with the course of events unfolded during our life time and we made decisions accordingly, yet few of us may regret taking some crucial decisions that landed them into a future entirely different from what they had perceived about.

We cannot figure it out how exactly our post retirement life would take its course but the dominant factor would be the waiting; waiting for the ultimate happening i.e. departure from this world peacefully and calmly. Almost all of us live an ordinary life under a small circle of family and friends. As we seldom remember our grandparents, our grandchildren would also take no time to forget us. Some 70-80 years of our vibrant life trying to make an impact on this world would end with hardly anyone missing it.

Like millions, dead and forgotten earlier, we will also fade away, for sure.

The Hollowness of Life

Have you ever felt or realized that something always bothers you inside, making you ponder deeply over some deprivations of life? Despite having every comfort, you remain downhearted at times not knowing exactly the reasons for this feeling! Sometimes you can figure it out but not able to redress the issue because of peculiarity of your circumstances, surroundings, and age factor.

I find myself living with almost all life-goals fulfilled. But in spite of having lived a near perfect life what is it that is left undone and unconquered which creates a permanent void in my life, a deep hollow, an abyss which is yet to be fathomed or discovered! Why a feeling of emptiness persists? Why this hollowness has been living along throughout my life? From adolescence to young to middle age and to finally nearing old age the hollowness never leaves us alone, with ever-changing known and often unknown reasons.

Has it something to do with our unending wants and desires? I presume everyone is going through this dilemma. Everyone whatever his/her age, wherever living, whatever doing, rich or poor, is somehow uneasy and disconcerted over something which keeps all staring into space restlessly.

Are we sucked in by the unlimited worldly targets & goals that remain far from being attained which finds us camped at the base of high mountains with the uncertainty of reaching the peak ever? This feeling perturbs and leaves us gazing into horizon trying to come to terms to mysteries of life. Some of the common reasons of our hollowness could be attributed to the following reasons:

• Young People: Fearful of uncertain future, disintegration of families, unpredictable & unknown potential life partners, and delayed marriages etc. 
• Immigrants in the West: Missing their ailing parents, regretting not being there.
• Expatriates in the Middle East: Missing their wives, children, parents and social life. Some lowly educated workers wish to see their loans paid back so that their mortgaged houses/animals/agriculture lands back home could be cleared. Another disheartening aspect with the expatriates is that their families, relatives do not want them to return because of high remittances they send to them (easy money for extravagance).
• High ranked officers/bureaucrats/politicians: Lust for more powers, authority, money, estate etc.
• Ordinary workers/businessmen: Children’s educational expenses, social costs, loans, daughters’ marriage expenses, owning a small house etc.
• A poor majority: Yearns for fulfilling basic needs all along its life 

Someone can argue that this depression is due to spirituality of life that we miss upon. We do not turn to Almighty Allah (swt) as often as we should with surrendering our body and soul to Him. And that we have forgotten altogether that we will finally return to our Creator someday for which we need to get prepared. I presume many of my age group people haven’t forgotten this aspect and seek repentance regularly and many times a day but still feel devoid of something unknown. And has this gloominess something to do with conscience? A guilty conscience with which we would not be able to face the accountability on the Judgment Day! There are endless questions aimed at searching the answer(s) so that we can be at rest, contented and peace.

One of the reasons for our dissatisfaction could also be owing to the fact that our lives are too self-centered. Our world is confined to our family, friends and colleagues. Cell-phones, computers and televisions have taken over as our friends now. We know less people in our street by name than TV anchors, drama artists, singers and newscasters. I for one have not befriended any new person in real life in a decade but added 100s on Internet social sites. Our traditional evening gossips in the neighbourhoods are extinct now. In the past we also used to interact regularly after/on Juma Prayers in the mosques to exchange pleasantries but ever since Friday has been declared a weekday, this practice is no more in use. The deafening Calls for Ba-jama’at (joint) Namaz from nearby mosques just remind us to offer the prayers in solitude without walking to the mosque. Many of us are not blessed with even listening to such Calls. The fast pace of life that sets high standards of living leaves no room for humane aspect, no time for asking well being of the people living around us. The kindness, humility, and a greeting smile are reserved for family & friends fraternity.

Another reason for persistent despair that hits the sensitive mind is the vast class difference of haves and have-nots in the society, the acceptance of corrupt people at the helm of affairs of the nation, disintegration of population into sects and other ills prevalent all over the place.

Yet another possible reason that resides at the back of our mind but haunts regularly is the scare of imminent death. We, at 50 plus years, have completed about 75% of our average age and going through the process of recollecting our life events; good and bad decisions, and trying to imagine the world without us. Have our children attained the goals that we foresaw for them, where we would be buried, whether our children and grand children would ever visit our eternal abodes and remember us in their prayers to help us minimize the (God forbid) punishment in hereafter are some of the questions we ask ourselves repeatedly!

The hollowness will stay side by side with us.