Deserted Parental Homes!

 

“The home is where your parents are.”

We all have been blessed to have grown up in homes in the presence (as well as in the guidance) and under the blessings of our parents. It’s every household story, and it is a natural process and happens everywhere around the world. As the children grow into adults, the pursuit of higher education, lucrative jobs, other commitments and some peculiar circumstances compel them to seek new vistas; moving from a village to a town, to a sizable city, and to a large city where opportunities abound, and even, to overseas, the developed countries. Initially, they move temporarily, not sure of their future prospects, but with the passage of time, the migration translates and transcends into perpetuity.

My grandfather lived in a small village devoid of any amenities or utilities in early 1900s. He didn’t undergo any formal education. My father, born in the same village, was the only lucky child of the entire village to travel to a nearby small town for attending middle school. By virtue of it, he managed to get a fairly good white-collared clerical job in the post-partition era.

My elder brother and me were also born in the same village but soon our father took his family along with him and moved to the town for enrolling his children in the school for starting formal education in an effort to make them educated and better citizens. The journey undertaken by our father from a small village to a town was to become a repetitive act in our family history of next 100 years; village to a town, to a city, to a larger city, and to a new country(s).

Unfortunately, the adage “The home is where your parents are” was no longer valid neither for our father nor our generation and so on; all new/subsequent parents preferred their children’s future over their old parents. But, father had had an escape; our grandparents were already dead when he moved us to the town. My justification (lame maybe) could be that I studied away from the home, and then during my entire job career I never get posted at or near our parental town.

At the age of 18, I left my hometown for the university education in a larger city. It was perceived that completion of my education will bring me back to our hometown, parental home, but it did not happen. My job, commencing immediately after completion of the education, required me to remain stay away from the home and live at different places across the country all along the working career. My other siblings also went through almost similar conditions. In the next 10-15 years, everyone was living at a new place, in their respective independent home. Our parental home, became deserted, and eventually it was sold out. About 20 years later, history repeated itself as our home became deserted after our children moved away for better future prospects.

The disintegration of families always take place irrespective of whether the parents are alive or not but there are, of course, some exceptions around when families never disintegrated, they lived like a well knitted unit and thrived peacefully.

In the last decade of 1900s and during the early new century i.e. 2000s, we were acting as parents and our children beamed about the axiom: “The home is where your parents are.” We, me and the better half, however, without lamenting the future consequences, knew that we were destined to meet the same fate what our parents and grandparent went through!

About five years ago, I started building a new house for our family. We moved into it as soon as it completed within a year. We settled down into it with three people only; me, my better half and one of the four children. Three elder children, already married, with their kids, moved away to settle in Europe, North America and Down Under. Their migration to the overseas is well under our encouragement and blessings. The youngest child, married last year, is living within the same city but a strong aspirant of moving out of the country too.

The clutter and chatter, laughter and shouts, hugs and pushes, cellphones and videogames, and sleepless nights and lively daytime of our four children slowly waned away as they grew up and stepped into their respective practical lives. It was time for them to establish their respective new homes (new parental homes), leaving behind their ageing parents to sit back and relish memories of their children in a deserted house which used to bustle with their presence!

We, me and wife, are living and surviving the old age journey together. Our respective parents’ homes did not survive. Our home has also begun crumbling. One can always raise a query that why did we encourage our children to move abroad, the answer is simple: Even if we didn’t do it, they would have done the same on their own. This country is not easy for younger generation to buy an honest and comfortable living. They have seen us struggling throughout our whole life.

The process of evolution is timeless and endless. Every new generation will focus on to have their lives better than what their respective parents had. Our parents had a better life than our grandparents. We lived a life far better than our parents did. Our children are faring quite well than us.

It’s time, our grandkids sung: “The home is where OUR parents are.” Next is great grandkids and so on.