A Prayer

O Lord! I kneel down to You because of my firm and un-dwindling faith

And follow your commandments revealed in the Last Book

Can’t think of denying meeting You hereafter

For the accountability of my deeds, and the subsequent fate!

Lord! You created me and bestowed with uncountable blessings

A heart that feels and a mind that thinks together with intent and authority

To choose good from evil, virtue from sin, to become a better and helping human being

Alas, I still remain highly unthankful, unsatisfied and fervently insatiable.

Pardon me Lord but people argue, if I were not a Muslim by default

I wouldn’t have reverted to Islam, merely because of the conduct of Muslims

Even the cursory contact with Islamic teachings would’ve done little to lure me

That’s why more than two-third of the world population is still wayward!

Forgive me Lord! They take my bowing down as performance of a ritual

And express it with various names like sheer fear, threat, voracity and smarmy

Insist that some contents of the Last Book are irrelevant to present life and need an Update

But Lord, they are astray like those who witnessed miracles but still perished as nonbelievers.

Health, wealth, cozy life, etc., have tarnished my mind and heart

Either I take them for granted or term them an outcome of my own toil

Lord! Have mercy on me, bolster my faith, and instill Your love

O Omnipresent! Cleanse my heart; make me feel grateful, an ardent and humble believer.

Mom, please forgive me

Ever since I’ve decided to pen down about Ammi (Mom), all forgotten memories no matter how minute and faint they are, have started reappearing in my mind; for example the day I was circumcised (guess I was 3 years old) when the Barber (Hajaam) put a sweet candy in my mouth and pointed to sky to watch an aeroplane flying overhead. My resistance and reluctance proved futile as within seconds my father took me in his arms while I bled and cried with pain.

At that time I sneaked towards Mom who was smiling and shedding tears relentlessly.

As my elder brother (2 years older than me) and I were growing up in our ancestral tiny village, I recall indistinctly my uneducated mother having scores of arguments with my father over migrating from that village to a nearby town for children’s education. During shifting on a caravan of two to three bullock carts, I slept in Ammi’s arms for better part of the 10 mile long journey, as I was later told, but I do remember that I would also sporadically alight from the moving cart to stroll along and/or would run to catch them up.

Ammi would every time stretch out her arms to take hold of me and save me from falling down and getting hurt.

Our rented house in the town was quite large with electricity and a hand pump (Nalka) for water. We had a buffalo in courtyard. Ammi would milk it twice a day and would let us drink fresh milk. After school I would just run outside barefoot to play “Gilli Danda”, Marbles, or would go to Bus Stand to watch new buses. On returning home around sunset, filthy from bottom to top, Ammi would just drag me to stand below the Nalka and let me take bath to clean up.

She would always narrate stories/fables of animals, genies or fairies before we were fast asleep.

Once my tutor of class six Mr. Narain Das tried his best to teach me how to read analog Wrist Watch and tell the correct time but I wouldn’t. On replying the wrong “Time” the umpteenth time, the tutor was peeved at me and slapped across the face.

As if Ammi was standing just across the door, she instantly entered the room ignoring her “Pardah” and asked the tutor as to how he dared slapping her son!

One thing I never understood for long until I turned father; how can parents especially mother love her all children equally? I always considered myself getting most of parents’ attention and care during my early childhood. Other siblings were also in agreement with me and when they protested, Ammi would just reject their plea with a big grin.

Now, decades later, my children repeat the same story and ask their Mom, why Fatima (youngest of all) is your “LADLEE”? They don’t get the different reply from their Mom either.

Mother’s love, affection and showers of prayers for her children have been considered as something obligatory for her to do. No matter how ill-behavior and disrespect the children treat her mother with, they feel proud to be living in a shadow of their mother’s “Duaeen”.

The painful fact; ask a bribe taker, a ‘Sood Khor’ (interest taker), a rich man who makes big fortunes through illicit means, etc., how come he is so successful in his life? Just because I’m bestowed with my mother’s blessings, will come the sole reply.

Time never stops. Once completely dependant on parents especially mother, I turned independent and the most unfortunate reality is that my mother is dependent now. Am I behaving and taking care of my dependent as better as she used to, years ago, when she was independent? What about you, the reader?

The reply must be pretty painful!

Can we find solace in justifying that we are paying back mother’s love and affection to our children instead, and these children will be paying back to their children and so on?

How many of us, still living under the shadow of this evergreen tree, have rekindled complete respect to her and allocated some ‘precious minutes’ to listen to her patiently without getting into arguments?

Boss

Just think about the non-existence of Sardarjis and Khan Sahibs on this crust and you would be deprived of more than half of all jokes created in our region. The dawn of every day brings a new and funny joke involving either of them. And what are other hot categories of jokes? One can cite plenty of them like children, spouses, women, employees, and the BOSS.

Yes, boss is a unique creature and character affecting our behavior and bringing considerable impacts on our lives. Boss-employee relationships have long been discussed and some funny guidelines are also available. A simple joke that we learned decades ago goes like; “Rule #1: Boss is always right. Rule #2; if Boss is wrong, follow the Rule # 1.”

With the advent of internet, many new jokes floated around about the boss, one of them became quite famous and “hit”. Last line of this joke reads as; “He/She is just sitting at the top and doing nothing but passes on shit.” People say that it doesn’t really matter you work in private or public organization because the bosses in both offices are alike.

How do they look like? Though most of the time you’ll find them old, bald and bold but recent advancements in corporate sector has brought a good number of smart & handsome young men and gorgeous women as bosses. But believe me, bosses are the most hated entity regardless of their disposition, stance, style and looks.

How can a boss be defined? While dumping the formal and usual definitions, it can be summarized as; “An individual who considers himself as knowing everything and can do everything without the help of his/her sub-ordinates (which he can never do). The one who speaks sarcasm, slur and non-sense, and infuriates you to test your nerves for retaliation and exhaling annoyance (Which you never do; and do on your friends, spouse precisely).

How one should behave with one’s boss? Wrong choice of the word “behave”; a subordinate ought to “follow meekly” all the orders/instructions irrespective of their (ill) wisdom, relevance, and priority. And more importantly, the subordinate must never show signs of anguish, frustration and fatigue at the end of office time when a bundle of new assignments are thrown in his/her face for completion before next morning.

Have a good next day!

Halal and Haram

If you are a Pakistani and have never been to outside world, the above terms mean little or of no significance. Living in a country with 98% of Muslim majority population, you need not worry to ever come across a choice of Halal and/or Haram food. You would certainly be getting Halal food, just everywhere without having to ask for it. I wonder what percentage of local population has ever seen a pig in real! Although Cable TV has brought it in our living rooms but thanks God, it can never penetrate into our kitchens.

And what exposure do you have with Haram food in the outside world? The first rendezvous with pork comes when you travel in a non-Muslim Airline and you only evade it if you are smart enough to ask for choice of food before it is served by charming airhostesses. While travelling in Indian Airlines, I overheard a hostess asking something to passengers before handing over them the food tray. When she came nearer and became audible I heard her asking Veg or Non-veg! Obviously my choice was Non-veg presuming that it would be Halal food. Later I realized my mistake and on a return journey I preferred the Veg food.

Another shocking experience in the Western World comes when you observe pork and meat/beaf (Halal and Haram) are placed side by side in a buffet lunch or supper with the application of same spoons/forks. Once on an international training course, my Ghanian Christian course mate said; Mr. Pitafi, don’t you think we are subjected to too much Halal food? He was referring to hotel menu that was catering to serve food to more than 200 international students, 25% of which came from Muslim countries.

So you escaped having pork in your cuisine but what about other Haram things that you purposely let them come into your life! You enjoy alcoholic drinks, visiting gambling dens, “red light” areas and even “staying” there for a while! Allow me to use an anonymous Western quote that reads; Muslims enjoy every bit of Haram things here but when it comes to eating pork they start chanting: Tauba Tuaba, Haram.

Coming back to my own beloved country, I have to confess that if “corrupt practices” and “Haram Things” are synonymous then they are 13 years older than me. I can’t estimate their exact age but based on exponential rise seen in the last few decades, they are surely going to last many generations.

Our life style, class system, behavior, environment, habits, (mal) practices, businesses, and last but not the least, the financial system are entirely engulfed with malignancy of corruption. We can’t cite a single area or institution in public sector that is free from malady. More dangerous is the generally accepted wisdom that deceit and malpractices of highest order with national wealth makes you the noblest man of the country.

In a country where you hear deafening sound of Adhan (call for prayer) five times a day, the mosques are bursting with Namazis (those offering prayers) on Friday prayers (and with sizeable attendance on ordinary days), millions go to Makkah for Umrah and millions make pilgrimage to Hajj every year then what’s wrong with the nation. Why can’t it distinguish right from the wrong, good from the bad, honesty from the hypocrisy, and Halal from the Haram?

Being Old

Advantages of being old - From a kid’s perspective

1. Not forced to wake up early

2. Not to take breakfast every morning

3. You need not to attend school; no home work

4. Can listen to music in full volume

5. Can watch cartoons and play video games for hours

6. Not scolded by Mom on return from school with bruises & dirty clothes

7. Not forced to take afternoon nap

8. Not admonished for playing outside

9. Can avoid tuition, skip fixed-timely super and delay going to bed

10. Absolute freedom; life full of enjoyment

Disadvantages of being old - From own perspective

1. Why not forced to get up early?

2. Why not offered breakfast every morning?

3. Why don’t they allow me to listen to the news with audible volume?

4. Why do I have to take dozens of medicines everyday?

5. Sick of taking prescribed tasteless food every now and then

6. Hate to be on bed; still end up spending most of my time on it

7. No one listens to, everyone avoids talking to

8. No one cares and notices when did I go outside or returned back

9. Absolute freedom; I hate being lonely in the house full of people

Some Hard Facts

1. Muslim soldiers of US and British Army partake in wars against Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia, and Sudan etc. during which they fight against Muslims. Soldiers from both ends chant slogans of Allah-O- Akbar while fighting against each other and die with Kalma-e-Tayyaba as the final words coming out of their lips. Grieved Muslim families from both sides claim these lost souls as Martyrs who will be rewarded in Hereafter and will inhabit Heaven.

2. A Muslim suicide bomber in Pakistan /Afghanistan offers prayers during the preceding night of explosion. He fasts early morning, recites holy Qura’n, gets dressed (wearing suicide jacket underneath) and goes on his stipulated target to brutally kill innocent Muslim children, men and women while reciting Qura’nic Verses. He aims at sending all his preys into Hell and finding himself amidst virgins (Hoors) in Heaven.

3. If prayers of the family, friends, followers, etc. really matter for a departed soul in easing his sins and preventing him from falling into Hell, then the most callous, corrupt, conspirator, and hypocrite rulers, generals, and political/religious leaders stand better prospects owing to their being famous (notorious in fact) that fetches lots of prayers offered for them.

4. One wonders as to who is going to make it into Heaven between these two;
A common Muslim who struggles throughout his life to earn his living while undergoing all kinds of good & bad (Haram and Halal) worldly experiences!
Or;
A revert/convert to Islam at his/her last breath!

5. When it comes to hating a nation, all Pakistanis are proud in pointing out at none other than the USA. Interestingly, the longest queue for obtaining visas can always be witnessed at none other than the USA Embassy in Islamabad.

6. It is no denying a fact that our rulers, top bureaucrats, bankers and businessmen leave no stone unturned to plunder national wealth and then siphon it off to Western countries through money laundering. When situation gets unfriendly, they flee the country and upon arrival in the West, these “patriots” shed tears over persistent corruption prevailing in the homeland. The clean, honest, and law-abiding democratic West welcomes these fleeing crooks to enjoy their stay as long as this wealth does not diminish.

7. We are a nation of short memory; like to forget and forgive every preceding mishap, insult and other excesses if the following incidents are larger in size.

Elixir of Life

Let us begin with the fable of a king who frantically wanted to take a sip of “Elixir of Life (Aab-e-Hayat)” so that he could live forever. A saint took the king to the well from where such a drink was available. Upon reaching the area the King was horrified to see nearly-dead but alive the elderly people crawling on the ground.

I cannot withstand this chilling sight. Why is like that? King asked the saint.
Well, they have had Aab-e-Hayat to live forever, the saint replied. Now, he continued, they will have to live the life of this world regardless of getting older and being unable to move.
That means I’ll also end up crawling like them if I took the sip of this drink, the king asked with a shadow of fright on his face.
Absolutely; the Saint replied smilingly.

Without going further into the king’s story, a question comes into the mind that why people right through the ages preferred long life! This question needs to be explored and understood through some logical explanations.

Human being is a creature whose aims and objectives remain flexible and ever-changing during his/her entire life according to the social environment encircling the individual. With the passage of time the cherished goals are realized but new ones crop up instantly. A kid dreams of possessing a truckload of chocolates and ice cream. School boy dreams of possessing expensive game console e.g. X-Box, branded sneakers, plentiful school holidays, etc. An undergraduate fantasizes of having sports bike, friends from opposite gender, pair of Levi’s jeans, expensive cell phone, etc.

Ask a near-graduate what he/she aspires in the forthcoming practical life and reply of almost all of them would be; a good job or higher studies, a car, a house/apartment and a matching spouse. Believe me no one would think beyond these basic wishes. Just how long it takes to fulfill these desires in one’s life? Not many years; would be a unanimous response. If it is so, then where does one get lost? Actually one goes astray in the labyrinth of multiple longings that grow side by side never letting a person to realize that the cherished basic desires have long been achieved and new & strong ones have replaced them. A good job has been secured but promotions, incentives, higher salary etc., keep the one restless perpetually. The individual maintains a small secondhand car but longs for a better one; a luxurious sleek sedan. He has managed to buy a two-bed apartment but seeks to move into a house. And then incessant wants and requirements of family; simply, there is no stopping to the wish list.

The foregoing scenario depicted the life of a middle class man but what about the “Forbes” class; the powerful politicians, the authoritarian generals, the successful business tycoons, the IT magnates, and media moguls! All these elites play magic and make their wealth increase exponentially. Even lavish expenses do no harm to their accumulations which keep on growing.

These relentless unfulfilled dreams generate a desire within a person to live on and on and on. All will agree that even Aab-e-Hayat would prove insufficient in quenching the thirst of wants and desires.

Can a man stop yearning for it?