Elixir of Life

Let us begin with the fable of a king who frantically wanted to take a sip of “Elixir of Life (Aab-e-Hayat)” so that he could live forever. A saint took the king to the well from where such a drink was available. Upon reaching the area the King was horrified to see nearly-dead but alive the elderly people crawling on the ground.

I cannot withstand this chilling sight. Why is like that? King asked the saint.
Well, they have had Aab-e-Hayat to live forever, the saint replied. Now, he continued, they will have to live the life of this world regardless of getting older and being unable to move.
That means I’ll also end up crawling like them if I took the sip of this drink, the king asked with a shadow of fright on his face.
Absolutely; the Saint replied smilingly.

Without going further into the king’s story, a question comes into the mind that why people right through the ages preferred long life! This question needs to be explored and understood through some logical explanations.

Human being is a creature whose aims and objectives remain flexible and ever-changing during his/her entire life according to the social environment encircling the individual. With the passage of time the cherished goals are realized but new ones crop up instantly. A kid dreams of possessing a truckload of chocolates and ice cream. School boy dreams of possessing expensive game console e.g. X-Box, branded sneakers, plentiful school holidays, etc. An undergraduate fantasizes of having sports bike, friends from opposite gender, pair of Levi’s jeans, expensive cell phone, etc.

Ask a near-graduate what he/she aspires in the forthcoming practical life and reply of almost all of them would be; a good job or higher studies, a car, a house/apartment and a matching spouse. Believe me no one would think beyond these basic wishes. Just how long it takes to fulfill these desires in one’s life? Not many years; would be a unanimous response. If it is so, then where does one get lost? Actually one goes astray in the labyrinth of multiple longings that grow side by side never letting a person to realize that the cherished basic desires have long been achieved and new & strong ones have replaced them. A good job has been secured but promotions, incentives, higher salary etc., keep the one restless perpetually. The individual maintains a small secondhand car but longs for a better one; a luxurious sleek sedan. He has managed to buy a two-bed apartment but seeks to move into a house. And then incessant wants and requirements of family; simply, there is no stopping to the wish list.

The foregoing scenario depicted the life of a middle class man but what about the “Forbes” class; the powerful politicians, the authoritarian generals, the successful business tycoons, the IT magnates, and media moguls! All these elites play magic and make their wealth increase exponentially. Even lavish expenses do no harm to their accumulations which keep on growing.

These relentless unfulfilled dreams generate a desire within a person to live on and on and on. All will agree that even Aab-e-Hayat would prove insufficient in quenching the thirst of wants and desires.

Can a man stop yearning for it?

In Praise of Wife

I can’t express how much care and affection you’ve been showering on me since our tying up into the nuptial knot more than 20 years ago. Still, I take pride in recollecting the following happenings we’ve been sharing for years:

1. I used to wake you up early morning just by my touch so that you can prepare breakfast for me. Time went by; I started blowing soft whistle through my lips for the very purpose. Every time you became conditioned with my repetitive and irritating habit which turned ineffective, I switched over to a new one. Finally I gave up. Darling, it is sweet of you for agreeing to share what I prepare for the breakfast in spite of the fact that it is hard to sacrifice much needed sleep.
2. You never forgot in all those years to call during my hectic office hours that you would warmly greet me at our doorstep aimed at vanquishing my day-long fatigue so that we could go for a shop straight away without wasting time.
3. You taught children not to talk deafeningly before me, and kept the volume of TV low so that I could concentrate and comprehend what you tried to explain through unstoppable talking!
4. While doing laundry, you always assigned me soft jobs like rubbing the collars & cuffs of shirts, bottoms of pants and trousers, towels, etc. Still, you helped me squeeze off water out of clothes by holding them tightly from one end while I twisted the other ends ferociously.
5. Dish washing has been the easiest of all jobs, and why not; I just cleaned the greasy / oily plates & utensils, collected leftovers of kids and guests, and applied cleanser powder and soaps. The difficult task of rinsing them was always your responsibility. So what, if the precious glassware often slipped from your hands and turned into pieces.
6. I still can’t believe how you came to know that I liked ironing clothes. Don’t you think I’m the best when it comes to pressing cotton-ware and ladies clothes?
7. No one would believe how caring you have been throughout these past years; you would never let me prepare supper considering that I was tired after a hectic day. Instead you always correctly and convincingly suggested dining out. How sweet!
8. You never frowned when my in-laws visited us frequently. I know you’d have greeted in the same manner had your in-laws visited us! I wonder why they never did!
9. You never forgot to buy gifts for your in-laws during “Sale”, on “Cut-price shops” and “Buy one, take one free” instances. They must’ve loved them!

My sweetheart; how can I forget our intimate hours; no, minutes. Darling, if it weren’t my weakness to falling asleep just on touching down the bed, we’d have had far better moments together!

Punhoo, the Gardener

I’m one of those privileged people whose office is located just across the compound wall of a large residential complex owned by the large organization I work with. While walking to the office every morning I watch gardeners with curiosity, reverence, and empathy.

Gardeners are found busy mowing the lawns, some remove dry leaves from the grass, some are holding hoses to water the green belts while others cutting wild shrubs from the edges of pavements. The afternoon sight is a bit different when the attendance of gardeners gets thinned. Some enjoy siesta under tree shadows and a few trim trees. Sometimes they are found removing the tree branches hanging over the electricity conductors.

These uneducated and low-paid employees often miss our attention, taken for granted to do their jobs and considered as less important segment of our society destined to live and die without making their presence felt. Luckily I had the chance to sit with one of the gardeners and discuss his life, etc. Here is how our conversation went through:

How are you Punhoo? How are you doing? I asked the gardener.
Thanks Allah. Life is good, work is going well, he replied.
Don’t you get fed up doing similar job for years now? I mean cleaning, mowing, trimming, watering, etc. I enquired.
Sir! Are there some kinds of works which change everyday? He was inquisitive in his tone. Do you perform a variety of jobs for your living? He continued.
No, not at all, but we have different and better environment, chances of promotion, better facilities and excellent opportunities for growing.
So you must’ve been saving enough for your children and their future! He smiled with a sparkle in his eyes.
Not really; it’s hard to cope within the limited monthly income. I said, displaying my disappointment.
Then what a gardener is ought to do to improve his living? Punhoo asked mockingly. I had no answer.
Are you satisfied with your life? I tried to ask in a different way.
Alhamd-o-Lillah (All praise to Allah) I’m satisfied with my work and little income. It’s enough to meeting our needs.
How come? I don’t believe it! It is simply mindboggling to think a low-paid employee is able to limit his expenses within what he earns.
Look, Punhoo explained, my work involves nurturing the green areas, maintain flowerbeds, planting trees and taking care of them so that they are not eaten away by the goats and other animals. More beautiful the landscape becomes more people will enjoy it. Watching people visiting green lawns, sitting under the trees, children running through the flowerbeds give me immense joy and satisfaction. It’s our firm belief that if you let the people happy Almighty Allah will also be pleased and bless us with his mercy and reward. This is my real income. Besides, whatever I earn is more than sufficient to buy Daal Roti. He reiterated.
But this is not quality life. You are living in Stone Age! I emphasized.
Sahib listen, he toned firmly, my bicycle doesn’t require CNG or other fuel to run. I don’t own TV or computer. Why, because my children live simple life, like me. They go to a local language government school and will end up working like me in the gardens when they are grown up. Therefore their needs are negligible. My wife works in a bungalow where she often gets leftover food, worn-out clothes and expired medicines. Hence, our needs are fulfilled by the grace of Almighty Allah.
Sir, you seem to be unsatisfied with your life, he asked me abruptly.
No, no. I’m doing fine. I replied in haste.
He looked at my pale face closely and walked away smilingly.

SCARECROW!

What? Scarecrow?
You are talking nonsense!
Listen; I’ve been living happily in an absolute peaceful environment
No one dares disturbing me unless I permit one to
Own a comfortable room with two windows, so what, if it is small
Enjoy looking at the bustling traffic down in the street
The lights coming across the windowpanes shimmer my room at night, makes it romantic
Life is in complete harmony with the nature

Keep listening!
I possess all the modern electronic gadgets within my four walls of the apartment
Television, computer, DVD, musical system, Cell phone; just name it, everything is around
Find it difficult to assign time slice to each device within every 24 hours
A variety of good nutritious food is also served here, at least once a day

Gossip?
Surely I do, with all surviving friends through internet
Never like visiting them, neither they do; you know, we can’t do it ourselves without help
Grand kids like to chat but their mother thinks they need to concentrate more on their studies

Family?
We all live together. My son, Bahoo (daughter-in-law) and their two kids.
That’s why I don’t feel scared being alone in this room
My son visits me whenever I wish but you know he gets tired after a long day at workplace
BAHOO and children also turn up when I call them for helping me locate my medicines, spectacles, etc.

Missing someone?
I and my wife had a bet as to who would survive last!
My wife won it a few years back. That was the only thing I feared the most to happen
Still unable to adjust without her. Perhaps, a woman has more adaptability to the changing times!

Sleep?
Of course I stretch out a bit but I prefer to remain busy in my world
Love to spend hours at window enjoying the life down in the city
Like to throw smiles and wave at kids, men, women, even some bikers
Have made many late night friends who also wave at me

Recreation?
They take me outside sporadically, just because I get exhausted quickly
Besides, my BAHOO says one family member must always remain at home all the time
It prevents ghosts from dwelling in the house
When all go outside, I prefer to be left alone here

It’s like being SCARECROW?
Whatever! I’ll have to be here until I join my wife, there!

Dialogue with Conscience

Feeling a persistent pinch in the heart!
Human Being: Who is it? Are you there once again interrupting me?
Conscience: Yeah. But let me correct you, I’m here to guide you.
Human: Not now, please. I feel completely drained and exhausted after a day’s hustle and bustle. Commuting was tiring as usual; undisciplined traffic and worst of all, the traffic signals. The moment you touch a red signal and your car is surrounded by a variety of professional beggars disguised in selling tabloid newspaper, garlands, holding fake medical prescriptions that either they or their family members are in dire need of surgeries for which they are short of money. Some would pretend dying of starvation, while others would make plea for donations to build Madaris (religious schools).
And yes, I hate the signal boys flocking up the car to clean windshield.
Conscience: This is what I needed to point out. You snubbed the boy that was about to clean your vehicles’ windshield, refused unkindly to buy newspaper, and rolled up the glass to avoid listening to the plight of a beggar. When the beggar insisted and banged the window pane, you scolded him harshly. Wouldn't have been nice had you turned down their pleas in a decent way without hurting their ego?
Human: They have egos? It’s unbearable. My mind simply doesn’t accept helping deceits.
Conscience: Don’t make your mind a scapegoat; it has nothing to do with these acts. It’s the heart that reacts in these situations. Must be feeling a heavy heart about your unruly attitude?
Human: Truly speaking, yeah! I always feel like that afterwards. How could I get away from this situation?
Conscience: When caught up in a situation like that, just listen to your heart while ignoring your mind completely.
Human: Is there any guideline that helps distinguish a deserved one from the fraudulent?
Conscience: There are no instant yardsticks. It’s your heart that communicates and responds to what it listens to from the requester. Speaking gently and offering a dime to even a deceitful would not diminish your wealth. Your penny may become a source of quenching thirst & hunger, and buying much needed medicines. Do help them without pondering the consequences because it’s out of your jurisdiction.
Human: Are you trying to say that heart is better than mind when it comes to decision making?
Conscience: Heart makes far superior decision when the sentiments are involved.
Human: How come?
Conscience: How do you feel in extreme joy and grief? Who reacts, mind or heart?
Human: You are right. It is the heart that pounds heavily.
Human: Where do you reside?
Conscience: I dwell in the hearts. Good people keep me awake every now and then, while bad people stopped listening to me anymore. Sadly, I’m in deep slumber over there!

Early Encounter with Akram Masih

Officer: While entering the office premises. Hey! Put aside your long broom and let me enter the building.
Akram: Jee Sahib.
Officer: Why don’t you come early in the wee hours and clean the office before we arrive?
Akram: Sahib, I try the best and reach quite early but its large office and takes time to clean it completely. He follows the officer into the office room.
Officer: I’ve noticed that you don’t take the work seriously. Corners of the rooms and stairs always remain stained with colored spitting. When would you remove the PAAN KEE PEEKEN?
Akram: Sahib! I always rub the walls and floors but its relentless job. Why can’t all of you give up chewing the PAAN?
Officer: Shut up! Do your work.
Akram: Sahib! I’m matriculate. Can you please help me getting a respectable job like peon, chowkidar, driver or a clerk? I don’t like working as a sanitary worker. I can easily do what all others do here like coming late, taking cup of tea every now and then, reading newspapers, passing comments on the news, gossip, and relocating the files from one table to other.
Sir, one thing I can’t do that you all frequently do.
Officer: What’s that?
Akram: Backbiting of senior staff.
Officer: BAKWAAS BUND KARO. You are destined to do what you have been doing.
Akram: Sir, may I ask something?
Officer: Hurry up! I’ve to begin working.
Akram: Sir, who does the cleaning in the US and Europe?
Officer: Immigrants, like Africans, South Americans, and some Asians too.
Akram: Sahib! If immigrants work everywhere, why do we do so in our own country?
Officer: You talk too much! Leave the room and let me do my work.
Akram: Sir! Last question. Can I go to Saudi Arabia, in fact Makka for doing the work?
Officer: How come? Non-Muslims are not allowed in Makka.
Akram: Who then sweep the streets, clean the toilets, and carry the garbage?
Officer: Sudanese, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Indian Muslims, etc.
Akram: If Pakistanis do in Makka, in America and Europe, then why can’t they do in their own country?
Sahib smiles sneeringly and says; Because you are cheaply available, because we can exploit your poverty, illiteracy and your inability to switch over to better & respectable vocations.
Akram: Sahib, you can exploit whatever you like but let me reveal to you that we are neither lazy at work nor starving and never go begging for food, cloth and shelter like millions of people do here.
Officer: Shut up and get lost.

Time to Amend ICC Law 38: Run Out

Every ardent follower of cricket would agree that ICC Rule 38 for “Run Out” is flawed and nonsensical pertaining to the situation when a batsman dives to avoid run out. It requires immediate reconsideration and subsequent amendment to provide fairness to the endeavor of the batsman.

Let’s discuss a virtual situation which often prevails in the modern cricket: A batsman ABC hits a shot and calls for a sharp single run. The batsman XYZ at the bowler’s end (non-striker’s end) sprints to complete the run. Unfortunately XYZ realizes while taking the run that he might fall short of batting crease and get himself run out; therefore, he dives, fully prostrate on his belly stretching out his bat into the batting crease to complete the run. In the meanwhile a throwing ball from the fieldsman directly hits the stumps and whole fielding side appeals for a run out. Being a touch & go decision, the field umpire refers the matter to third umpire for a decision. TV replay shows that although batsman’s bat crosses the crease line but it still hangs in the air. XYZ is adjudged run out and the fielding team celebrates the feat.

We have been watching these kinds of run outs more frequently owing to the meteoric increase in the number of ICC events round the any single year. Sometimes these run outs play turning point towards fate of the match.

Let’s analyze the foregoing scenario. Starting with the shape of bat; its face (blade or hitting area) is almost flat along its entire length with a slight convex curve in the middle. Bat’s back side (non-hitting area) has bulge which starts from the top (bottom of handle) in the center of its width of 4.5 inches and runs down along its length/height. The bulge increases the most exactly at a point opposite to the “stroke area” of the blade. The bulge then drops immediately and flattens at the bottom of the bat which is only 1.5 inch thick. Now, if a bat is spin and thrown on ground, most of the time it would rest on its back due to its weight concentrated in its back side.

When a batsman runs and throws himself on the ground near the crease for completing the run, he extends the bat into crease to save him from being given run out. It has been observed much to the pain and anguish of the batsman that the bat lands with its back side touching the ground and skidding across the crease. The shape of bat puts it hang a few inches above the ground and makes the batsman declared run out.

Now, where does a fault lie with the poor batsman? This is absolutely unjustified that a batsman is given run out merely because he failed to land his bat into the crease with its face/blade “down” touching the ground. All his effort goes in vain perhaps, costing a match to his side.

Will MCC or ICC reconsider the Law 38 and amend it to favor the batsman please?